Anxiety

Sometimes I wrap myself in
A gloomy blanket of thoughts
For what else can I do
When I cannot shed this
Heaviness of doubt, anxious bouts
That creep into my silence
Smothering me with disdain
Like a languorous python;
I lay in the darkness,
Wondering what I did to gain
This onerous companion
Crushing me from the inside

Thoughts

Jan 4 #prompt for #CrowCalls @QuillandCrow

In the torture chamber
Surrounded by nerves, veins
Flesh, blood, encased in bones
I shudder at the merciless
Incantation, the endless
Curses whispered through
Sinewy walls, deafening me
I stand captured in the maze
Of all my infernal thoughts
So deep, dark and vengeful!

Jubilation, Interrupted

I usually sleep after midnight but on New Year’s eve, I dozed off at 11:00 pm. I was brutally woken up by loud wailing. It took a moment to realize it was people shouting, hooting, and celebrating from balconies in our gated community to usher in 2022. The jubilation still sounded like wailing to me!

I lay half-awake thinking the word to describe this cacophony is “lament.” Even the bursting of firecrackers could not shake off this thought. At one point it became eerie. Maybe it was the memory of gloom and despair playing on my mind. When you know a large part of the world is hurting and fearful, the dread seeps in to our lives. How we perceive the world around us depends on our inner state.

Each one to their own. The optimists do make our world better and keep alive hope but 2021 was cruel. The cheerful and the inherently happy bring a much-needed emotional balance. The New Year 2022 starts as a reflection of the past 2 years, with similar events unfolding. It is as if we are stuck in an endless cycle. In 2022, many lost loved ones and suffered emotionally and financially. Last night for every cheer there was a tear, somewhere, and this is a realization that stayed with me. This is a humbling thought and even in the background of sadness, it fills me with gratitude. Hope and gratitude remain the driving force for another circumambulation around the sun.

Mind Matters

Whirling in my mind
A collective hallucination
Of spirits guiding me
Towards insanity
I blindly embrace
Sights and sounds
Of each murky thought

A part of me lingers
In the stale past
Seeking answers
From silhouettes
Melting in the mist
Far from sight
Never far from mind!

Delirium descends
On my tired mind
Chaos ascends
In my troubled heart
I crave for solace
In the labriynths
Of my raving madness

My mind blows
Dark dreams explode
Under the pressure
Contained for so long
Now floating free
Infecting the world
With smug audacity!

A Blog Usurped – and Reclaimed

A decade back I started blogging and every two years I would pay to renew the hosting domain of my blog. Before 2013, it did not require much thought; the renewal was urgent. At the start of the year of 2013, I had my doubts, as I was not using my blog space, at all. The husband encouraged the renewal and I got it done. The next year, the web domain was relinquished.

Why? Was I thinking less, reading less, writing less? No, I was quite prolific with my thoughts and opinions, and reading quite a few new authors. I was also writing more frequently, if not too many words. Then, where were the words? Why were they not on my blog? Because some one stole my words and made them its own.

Continue reading “A Blog Usurped – and Reclaimed”
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